In a year marked by horrific high-profile court cases of violence against women and children, the domestic abuse service of COPE Galway has seen their workers stretched like never before.

Christmas and New Year is a time of increased calls by women reaching out for support, reveals outreach manager Amy Donohoe.

“This is very challenging time for women and children experiencing domestic abuse, there is immense pressure on all families to be happy, joyful and together at this time of year. Mums are trying to hold the household together to make it that magical time for children and try contain an ever-volatile situation,” she explains.

“Most people have time off work, with more time at home, it can increase the incidences of domestic abuse and create a pressure cooker feeling in the home. So, some women are talking to us about keeping themselves and their children safe.

“There is also the financial strain of Christmas, when experiencing financial abuse, where maintenance payments might be withheld or extravagant gifts are given by abusive partners or ex-partners while food on the table is scarce. So, some women might reach out for practical supports.”

Some people are just checking if the domestic abuse service is available over the Christmas period on the phone should they need to talk. When the festivities had ended there is also a spike in calls from women exhausted by trying to manage to keep the peace over the lengthy holidays.

“Many women who receive support through our service are separated and over the Christmas period access arrangements might be different, the drop off and pick points might have to change or they might have to be around their ex at some point.

“So, we offer support around managing ex-partner contact, managing access arrangements; supporting them in putting plans in place should they need them. Or just the emotional support in managing this pressurised time.

“We support women in safety planning for themselves and their children over these times, if possible, plan for time out of the home, if they can visit family or friends.”

While this time of the year can see higher alcohol or drug use, Amy is keen to stress that these are never a cause of domestic abuse.

“Yes, it can be a contributing factor and exasperates an already abusive situation. But domestic abuse itself is caused by one person exerting power and control over another for their own personal gain. And is often used as an excuse for abusive behaviour.”

For those in the heat of domestic abuse, she urges them first and foremost to reach out and contact the service.

“Start the conversation, we are here to give you space and time to listen to your experience. In my 18 years doing this work, I’ve never heard the same experience twice, each woman and child are unique.

“Some 85% of our clients don’t need to come to our refuge for safety, they’re looking for one on one support, they’re looking for advice and help on how to keep themselves – and their children if they have them – safe.

“It’s about starting a journey with them. Somebody taking control over you doesn’t happen overnight so it’s about untangling that. That control makes a person’s world smaller, so we need to help them expand that world. Information is key to doing that. It doesn’t have to involve action or leaving. That’s not our role at all. We’re there to listen to support where they are and where they want to be.”

There is no pattern when it comes to experiencing domestic abuse. The oldest client in the service is 91 years old. The youngest is a baby who attends with her mother. Shockingly, one in five women in Ireland can expect to experience abuse from an intimate partner during their lifetime.

The latest 2023 annual report revealed that the domestic abuse service supported 1,157 women, children and young people across Galway City and County. A total of 277 women attended 1,303 outreach appointments while the helpline fielded 7,257 calls – almost double on the previous.

Asked if COPE workers have noticed any particular trends during 20204, Amy says there has been an increase in women using the protections available through the courts, with greater numbers asking to be supported in that process.

“We are seeing that on the ground too. It’s rare a week goes by without domestic abuse being highlighted in the media. Talking about domestic abuse in more open terms and honestly, not only allows more victims/survivors to come forward but also always perpetrators know it’s a crime and we as a society are stepping up to tackle it.”

The charity is continuing its preventative work in the schools with the Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships Educational Programme, through the Solas Óg, Children and Young People’s Service. Last year they reached 600 students in 12 schools though the programme.

“It’s really, really important work. A school contacted me today about it and said they noticed that boys were engaging in a different way not only with female students but to female staff.”

The outreach team now works in every major town in Galway to meet with clients. COPE workers also met recently with the 999 Emergency Control Room staff to ensure a greater understanding of domestic abuse and the calls they might receive.

Amy, who has worked at COPE Galway for 15 years, fulsomely praises the women that the service supports.

“They show phenomenal strength and resilience in the face of real challenging situations. Home should be your safe place, and for people experiencing abuse it just isn’t that. I want to reiterate that they can reach out to us at any time, we’re here 24/7 365 days a year, our phone line will always be answered.”

The COPE Galway Domestic Abuse Service is open every day round the clock. Call 091 565 985.

Pictured: Pressure time….COPE Galway outreach manager Amy Donohoe.