Country Living with Francis Farragher

OKAY, the day has arrived for me to ‘come clean’ and declare my interest in becoming the next President of Ireland. It hasn’t been an easy decision with a difficulty in finding a clear head space thanks to stories having to be written for the papers; wet lawns to be cut; a few cattle to bought and sold; and then the social demands of keeping my friends in ‘the local’ up to speed with what’s going on in the world. Anyway, I’m outlining 10 ‘pretty solid’ reasons why I should receive your support when election times comes around towards the end of October.

No 1: I AM WORTHY. Now, I’m not a qualified meteorologist, although many years ago in the then UCG, I did a module in Geography on weather, which I have since completely forgotten about. Yet, I make a fair stab every week in our humble publications to provide a weather forecast that keeps all our readers well informed about what to expect from the skies over the coming days, weeks and even months. If I make it to the Aras, I will be in a position then to spot for the country, well in advance, all troughs, lows and depressions on the weather, political and even geo-political fronts.

No 2: I LIKE SPORT. Again, while I may not have changed the face of Gaelic football [for the better it must be said], like one of my opponents in the Aras Stakes, in my time, I’ve done my best to keep clean sheets for teams like Monivea-Abbey, St. Bernard’s United and Abbey United, when trying to marshal the ‘small square’, while here and there, giving the odd ‘servicing’ to referees who in my firm belief made errant decisions when it came to square balls, ‘50s’ [now 45s] and offside calls.

No 3: I LIKE IRISH. My claim to fame on this one is that twice in my younger years, I managed to hit the C grade in Pass Irish in the Leaving Certificate. Admittedly, I would have a bit more ‘grá’ for the mother tongue only for the compulsory element of the subject when it came to passing the overall exam. I still have a fair idea as to whether the ‘fadas’ should go in names and words and would be willing to devote one hour each day of my presidency to improving my fluency with the ‘cupla focal’. In time, I would then be able to have a full chat ‘as Gaeilge’ with my many friends in Conamara.

No 4. I AM EDUCATED. Before I outline my academic ‘achievements’, the caveat in this one comes early. I always say, that in my first days at various jobs – whether it be Digital, working as a temporary postman, mixing concrete on a building site, or writing 500 words about nothing – I learned more in that time, than I did in all of my mis-spent years at college. While I did manage to scrape through with a BA and a H. Dip., the downside of those four years at UCG, was that I never did achieve the 50 break in snooker [missed a black on 43] at the then ‘Men’s Club’. [You wouldn’t get away with that name nowadays!].