Health, Beauty and Lifestyle with Denise McNamara

If you have a lover, there’s no excuses for planning a little treat this Valentine’s Day as it falls on a Friday. Cooking a nice meal at home, ordering takeaway or splashing out for a little dinner out to spend some special time together is easier if you don’t have to worry about the alarm going off in the morning.

Not to be a downer on the day of love, but sadly not every romantic partnership is a healthy one.

The national mental health charity Turn2Me says Valentine’s Day can be an opportune time to assess how healthy that relationship actually is. It has published five relationship ‘red flags’ to be aware of because while every relationship has ups and downs, certain behaviours can be warning signs of emotional manipulation and toxicity.

“It’s a good time to remind people that help and support is available. They are not alone,” said CEO Fiona O’Malley.

“Unhealthy relationships can take a toll on mental health, leading to anxiety, depression, and emotional distress,” stresses Fiona. “Recognising red flags early is crucial, and seeking support can empower people to make informed decisions about their relationships.”

So, what are these red flags.

1. Love Bombing

At the start of a relationship, grand romantic gestures can seem exciting, but excessive flattery, intense declarations of love, and overwhelming attention—especially early on—can be a form of manipulation.

“Where one partner tries to create emotional dependency by moving the relationship forward at an unnaturally fast pace – this is known as love bombing. It often precedes controlling behaviour once the person feels they have secured their partner’s trust.”

2. Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where one partner makes the other

question their own memory, perception, or reality. Common phrases used in gaslighting include: “That never happened, you’re imagining things.” “You’re too sensitive, you’re overreacting.” “You’re crazy for thinking that.”

“This tactic is used to gain control and diminish the confidence of the other person, making them doubt themselves and stay in a relationship where they feel powerless,” explains Fiona.