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A Different View

Roots are where you grow from – not what tie you down

Dave O'Connell

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A Different View with Dave O’Connell

We live in strange times in Ireland, when Roma gypsies cannot have blond children and it’s newsworthy that a man accused of a serious crime is also in possession of a university degree.

There’s no need to rake over the ashes of the story of the two children who were taken from their parents because they didn’t look like them – and anyway the definitive analysis of that has to come from a full investigation.

But it will take some explaining as to why a comment on a journalist’s website could prompt such a dramatic response when issues of child welfare are long-fingered every day of the week.

Until a future generation finally conquers cloning, there is no onus on parents to have children in their own likeness – so why should those from impoverished backgrounds be treated any differently?

If a middle-class family adopts a child from a foreign country – a child that clearly doesn’t look like them – would they be subjected to a swoop on the streets as they go about their business?

Thankfully and rightfully, not in a million years – but the Roma are apparently fair game because they are so stereotyped that anyone who isn’t dark-eyed and dark-skinned must belong to someone else.

If the Gardaí came to our door looking for proof that our boys were ours, I’d have difficulty showing them anything more than photographs going back over the last 16 years in which they and us are all included in the same shot.

I certainly wouldn’t be in a position to lay hands on their birth certs, and I couldn’t remember their birth weight the week they were born, never mind a decade and a half later.

Obviously they are now old enough at 14 and 15 to tell any authorities that they are not being held against their will and that they don’t actually have biological parents in some other part of the world.

But I’d have had the same difficulties in proving my parentage when they were two and three as I would now – and yet funnily enough, I don’t think they’d have been removed from the family home in quite the same way.

Social stereotyping had already raised its head a week earlier when a man was charged with the murder of Elaine O’Hara – and the most noteworthy aspect of his description was that he was a graduate of an NUI University.

If the accused man was from Ballyfermot, would the media have diligently reported that he got three honours in his Junior Cert?

But because Graham Dwyer is ‘an architect businessman’, this became an integral part of the story – as though ‘architect businessmen’ are some superior form of life.

The tragedy here isn’t Mr Dwyer’s occupation – it’s that the O’Hara family have lost their daughter. It would make it any easier or more traumatic for them if the man accused of killing her was a doctor or a docker.

All of us – and most of all, in these cases, the Gardaí and the media – should be very careful about jumping to conclusions, just because of an individual’s socio-economic background.

For more, read this week’s Connacht Tribune.

 

Connacht Tribune

Grandparents are the glue that became unstuck during Covid

Dave O'Connell

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Dave O'Connell

A Different View with Dave O’Connell

IT goes without saying that lockdown has been hard for everyone – with the possible exception of hermits – but few have felt it more than grandparents, confined to barracks and deprived of those hugs from the grandchildren.

Looking at them through windows may only have made it worse, because little kids don’t understand why nana and granddad won’t come out; they don’t realise they want to, more than anything in the whole world.

This pandemic has given us plenty of time to reflect; a chance to remember what is truly important and what we should cherish instead of taking for granted.

And arguably, grandparents should be on top of that list.

You’ll have heard it said that being a grandparent is like you’ve been given a second chance; an opportunity to spend time in retirement with the next generation that work deprived you of when it came to your own.

There’s also a notion espoused by some of those grandparents that you love them more than your own kids, because this time, when you’re finished playing with them, you can give them back.

I never knew any of my four grandparents, because they were all dead before I was born. My own sons never knew my parents because they too had long departed before the next generation arrived.

But thankfully they did grow up with two grandparents as an integral part of their lives – and not just minding them, which they did with a commitment for which we will be ever grateful.

The measure of success in this department is that your children see your parents as just a part of the family; there’s an easy familiarity every time they meet, just like picking up the pieces without a second thought.

For more, read this week’s Connacht Tribune.

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The Connacht Tribune Live app is the home of everything that is happening in Galway City and county. It’s completely FREE and features all the latest news, sport and information on what’s on in your area. Click HERE to download it for iPhone and iPad from Apple’s App Store, or HERE to get the Android Version from Google Play.

 

 

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Connacht Tribune

Home is still full of memories even when it’s an empty nest

Dave O'Connell

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Dave O'Connell
Dave O'Connell

We’ve all heard the phrase – and perhaps dread the concept; the empty nest, after the fledglings take flight and you’re left rattling around in a quiet house with just memories of those days of pandemonium and noise.

The social policy-makers would tell you that this is the time to downsize; save yourself the steps of the stairs and the cleaning, and cut down on the heating bills to enjoy your autumn days in accommodation more appropriate to your reduced needs.

And from a purely economic perspective, there’s merit in that. You have a house that’s now too big for you, and others can’t find a home of any size, let alone one sufficient for a full family – but that’s only one side of the argument.

The other is that your house is your home, and not because of its size – it’s because of its location, and your familiarity with its every nook and cranny. It’s also where those fly-away chicks still see as home, even if they’re now no more than occasional visitors.

As you grow older, familiarity is more important than ever; without the beautiful distraction of children, you grow even more dependent on neighbours and your community and the facilities you know on your old doorstep.

You know how long it takes to get to the shops or to the pub; you know you to give a spare key to in case you’re out when a delivery is due – or later on, if there’s a fear you might have a fall.

Your lifetime’s treasures – except for the children – are in your home; the sort of stuff others might see as clutter, but to you they are memories of holidays or graduations or births or marriages…those glory days that marked the chapters of your family life.

For more, read this week’s Connacht Tribune.

Get the Connacht Tribune Live app

The Connacht Tribune Live app is the home of everything that is happening in Galway City and county. It’s completely FREE and features all the latest news, sport and information on what’s on in your area. Click HERE to download it for iPhone and iPad from Apple’s App Store, or HERE to get the Android Version from Google Play.

 

 

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Connacht Tribune

Authors’ pot luck – or insight into predicting a terrible future

Dave O'Connell

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Dave O'Connell

A Different View with Dave O’Connell

It’s eerie how some people can appear to have an ability to see into the future; forecasting an event or a phenomenon, years – sometimes even centuries – before it comes to pass.

Much was made this year of a number of books and movies that anticipated what we now know as the Coronavirus pandemic; predictions that even led to renewed interest in publications like Daniel Defoe’s Journal of the Plague Year that goes back to 1722.

Edgar Allan Poe described a fictional epidemic at the centre of his short story, the Masque of the Red Death.

“No pestilence had ever been so fatal, or so hideous. Blood was its avatar and its seal—the redness and the horror of blood. There were sharp pains and sudden dizziness and then profuse bleeding at the pores, with dissolution.”

More recently, Albert Camus’ the Plague explored the human toll of epidemics back in 1947 – and of course, the end of the world has been the subject of more movies than almost anything else.

But that’s not really suggesting they have some incredible insight into the future; Dystopian plots or backdrops are almost standard fare, and the spread of some toxin or virus is the easiest vehicle for writer’s to plot.

That doesn’t mean the reader or viewer isn’t stopped in their tracks when they come across a piece or a film that appears to have predicted the future.

One such slim volume that fulfils that brief is really just a long essay, entitled Here is New York.

For more, read this week’s Connacht Tribune.

Get the Connacht Tribune Live app

The Connacht Tribune Live app is the home of everything that is happening in Galway City and county. It’s completely FREE and features all the latest news, sport and information on what’s on in your area. Click HERE to download it for iPhone and iPad from Apple’s App Store, or HERE to get the Android Version from Google Play.

 

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