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Tracey Ferguson’s labour of love brings romantics up to date

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Tracey Ferguson of Datings Little Helper: “I’ve been at weddings where people were getting married who met online. There’s no shame in it anymore,” she says.

Lifestyle – Judy Murphy meets Tracey Ferguson who helps singles to attract their dream partner

When Tracey Ferguson began using an online dating site on December 1 last year she immediately spotted a gap in the market where her talents could come into play.

Scrolling through the profiles of eligible and interesting men, the PR woman saw that most of these were pretty poorly written while the men’s photos were generally dire.

These men, many of them very attractive, were just not selling themselves well, she recalls.

As Tracey explored further she realised that this was also a problem for women using the site, so she came up with the bright idea of helping them.

The result is a new business, Datings Little Helper. For €50 Tracey will write or edit a person’s dating profile and advise on the best picture to accompany that profile. She will also advise those who are apprehensive about internet dating on the etiquette involved, what to do and how to avoid stalkers, or trolls.

Tracey’s own online romantic exploits have proven successful – she is now dating a professional man from Dublin. Their relationship is at an early stage, she says, but they are getting on well and most importantly they have that magic ingredient called chemistry.

Her enthusiasm, as we meet in the City’s House Hotel, on a busy Friday evening, is infectious. After of a couple of failed attempts to log onto the dating site, PlentyofFish, she succeeds – Friday evening is a particularly busy time for dating sites, she says.

PlentyofFish was the site Tracey chose last year when she eventually opted to try online dating after getting sick of more old-fashioned methods.

“It’s getting harder to put yourself out there,” she observes. “I’ve been at weddings where people were getting married who met online. There’s no shame in it anymore.”

Tracey had heard “lots of good things” about PlentyofFish, so she went online and created a profile, using her own photo but a different name – that’s normally what people do to ensure privacy, she explains. She immediately made 90 connections with different men and whittled those down to 10. Those were the ones she was happy to have phone conversations with. Out of the 10, she met five, all of them “lovely guys” she says, “but the spark was only there with one of them”.

That’s the amazing thing about online dating, she says. “Everyone is on there – all ages and sizes. I scanned the site with my girlfriends and all of us found different people attractive.”

But at the same time, it also dawned on Tracey that people needed help to market themselves.

“It’s like doing a CV, only this is your love CV. Sometimes people don’t what to say, and some of the photos were terrible.”

And, as with a job CV, first impressions matter, she says.

Some of the women on PlentyofFish who were separated or divorced and looking for new relationships were using their wedding photos as their profile pictures. That sounds difficult to believe, but as Tracey points out, these women wanted to post a photo where they looked good. Which is all very understandable, but if you are looking for a new partner, it’s better not to display a photo of you entering a failed marriage full of hope.

Meanwhile, some of the men had taken selfies in their bathroom or bedroom, where they were displaying naked torsos. Again, even with the best abs in the world, that’s not a good idea, she cautions. Similarly, for people who have children. It’s better not to include them in a profile pic. If you hit it off with somebody online, you can share all that information then, but for a profile, it’s over-sharing.

For more, read this week’s Galway City Tribune.

Connacht Tribune

Making a difference – a long way from home

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Sorcha Fennell.

For as long as she can remember, SORCHA FENNELL harboured a dream to work in international development – and the Galway woman, who is Director of International Operations with Trócaire, has fulfilled that ambition in some of the most challenging places in the world, as she reveals here.

As my children and their friends tell me, choosing a career nowadays is a complex task with a dizzying amount of choices in what, where and how you work.

I had no such trouble.

From a very young age I knew I wanted to work in international development and I feel lucky and grateful to have been able to fulfil that wish. I have lived and worked in some of the world’s most challenging countries in Asia, Africa and Central America and in my current role I am responsible for the International Operations and projects we manage in Trócaire.

Context can have a huge bearing on our choices and for me going to school in Coláiste Iognáid in Galway was a formative experience. Their emphasis on social justice influenced me at a time where we were living through the troubles in Ireland, famine in Africa and unrest in Central and South America.

My family had an influence as well. My mother had worked with Palestinian refugees in Israel, my grandmother had been a doctor in Africa and my great Aunt was a Franciscan nun working as a missionary in Uganda.

I was always a really engaged activist and even started my own Social Action Group at school. After studying social work in Derry for two years, I decided to go overseas and volunteer.

Nine days after my twentieth birthday, in January 1991, I paid for myself to fly to my great Aunt Terry in Uganda and volunteered as a teacher in a former leprosy colony, that was now a school run by her group of incredible Franciscan nuns, the youngest of whom was 76 and the oldest was 89.

It was a truly eye-opening experience. The country was ravaged by AIDS and still recovering from the brutal reign of Idi Amin.

It took me a while to get used to it, to absorb the smells, the sounds, the numbing poverty. All my senses were on high alert. It felt very far from home and as a social person the new sense of isolation life took a bit of getting used to.

But it was also exciting, challenging and a time of incredible learning. Teaching the children was something I loved. I became aware of the transformational potential of education and how parents wanted above all to give their children the opportunity of school and learning.

Before I left, I decided to help some of them get to secondary school so I hatched a plan. I took out a loan, bought loads of high-quality African art and crafts and brought them back.

I approached Sabina Higgins who helped me put on an African Exhibition and raised enough money to send them to school. The local Galway community was great too. I remember Kenny’s Bookshop giving me loads of Ladybird books to take back to the children.

When my time in Uganda was up, I knew I wanted to continue this kind of work. I came back to Ireland, studied Development Studies and then joined Goal, working in South Sudan for 3 years until 1997.

The people there were suffering from the twin ravages of war and famine, and I learned a lot about the international and political context that shape those events. Southern Sudan and its people those people deeply influenced my view on development, and I still count the people I met there as my friends.

After meeting my husband and spending a year traveling, we moved to Honduras for his work.

Soon after we arrived, Hurricane Mitch happened, the deadliest hurricane in history at the time.  It’s difficult to describe the devastation we witnessed. People, houses, crops just disappeared. Many had been swept away in their beds.

I remember a woman standing with one flip flop and a plastic bag and a look of total shock. That was all she had left.

The lack of basic infrastructure meant so many people died that shouldn’t have. Existence was tenuous, people living in shacks at the edge of rivers with no ownership or land.

I contacted Trócaire and told them I had experience and was on the ground and so started working with their emergency response.

What I worked on in the following months and years, showed me how utterly transformative aid and support can be.  I began to understand the importance of sustainable, long-term development and tackling the fundamental structural issues that often underpin poverty.

In Honduras, Trócaire began a campaign to ensure women got title to and ownership of their land. Generally, land and home ownership was in the man’s name, which left women with no security.

During the reconstruction phase, we ensured that title deeds were in the name of the youngest child or mother. This simple move was transformative.  We watched whole communities emerge, building not just the security of a roof over her head, but the security of ownership and the protection that ensured. At the opening ceremonies of these estates, women would come up and hold up their key knowing it meant safety, lighting, protection for your children now and in the future. It’s the difference between a band-aid, (which can be necessary in an emergency), and a cure.

Currently Trócaire works in some of the world’s poorest countries. Myanmar, Somalia, Ethiopia, the DRC among others. Hundreds of millions of lives are at risk every day from war, famine and climate change.

In this context, the impact of helping one person can be so simple yet profound. The Democratic Republic of Congo is one of the most insecure places in the world, especially for women. There are around 138 militia groups operating in the Eastern DRC and insecurity is a constant reality for the communities and for our staff.

One day we were meeting a women’s group with whom we had recently run a literacy programme. We sat in a meeting with these women and asked what it had meant for them.  I’ll never forget one woman standing up and simply saying “now I can write a text.”

The enormity of this woman to be able to now read warnings that will impact her security or ask for help is profound. The power that simple skill can now give her can’t be underestimated.

That’s all overseas aid, or support organisations like Trócaire is – we work with people who don’t have the menu of options we do, and help them create those options.

It’s not charity, it is simply enabling and empowering those who are vulnerable to poverty and violence.

The people I have met and worked with over the years are strong, powerful, resilient and dignified people who find themselves in environments and conditions that are simply impossible to get through without some form of support – the support is an enabler, capable of transforming lives – but the people we work with are the real agents of change.

 

 

 

 

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Connacht Tribune

The Transformation Journal to help achieve a better you

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Author Marguerite Tonery with her new foal, Danny Boy.

Health, Beauty and Lifestyle with Denise McNamara

Award-winning children’s author Marguerite Tonery has published her first self-help book to help people reach their goals. The Castlegar woman, who set up her own printing company, Tribes Press, to help authors see their work in print, has produced The Transformation Journal, to help people “rise above your current challenges”

She is currently in the throes of her own challenges. When we speak, she is on a break from her family’s stables, Cooper’s Hill Equine in Castlegar village, where she has moved into for the last three months. Her beloved mare Castlefrench Clover died, leaving behind a tiny foal. She is now bottle-feeding Danny Boy round-the-clock. His antics have become a bit of a hit on TikTok.

“This book is for anyone who is not happy in their lives for whatever reason, and who wants to change. As we change our environment changes,” she reflects.

“It’s to help you to gain a deeper awareness of yourself and how you operate in the world through meditative and psychological techniques.”

For more, read this week’s Connacht Tribune.

Connacht Tribune Digital Edition App

Download the Connacht Tribune Digital Edition App to access to Galway’s best-selling newspaper.

Click HERE to download it for iPhone and iPad from Apple’s App Store, or HERE to get the Android Version from Google Play.

Or purchase the Digital Edition for PC, Mac or Laptop from Pagesuite  HERE.

Get the Connacht Tribune Live app
The Connacht Tribune Live app is the home of everything that is happening in Galway City and county. It’s completely FREE and features all the latest news, sport and information on what’s on in your area. Click HERE to download it for iPhone and iPad from Apple’s App Store, or HERE to get the Android Version from Google Play.

 

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Connacht Tribune

Capturing Martin’s Magic

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Christian O’Reilly with the poster for his latest play, No Magic Pill, which will be staged at the city's Black Box from September 27-30 before transferring to the Civic in Tallaght for Dublin Theatre Festival. PHOTO: JOE O'SHAUGHNESSY.

Lifestyle – Christian O’Reilly’s new play No Magic Pill was a slow burner. Now that it’s finally being staged in Dublin and Galway, he has fulfilled a longtime promise to the late disability campaigner Martin Naughton from An Spidéal. Christian tells JUDY MURPHY how this brilliant and contradictory man changed lives and inspired him.

Christian O’Reilly was fresh out of DCU and in need of a job when he first met Martin Naughton, originally from An Spidéal and living in Dublin. Martin, who had muscular dystrophy, was an activist, seeking rights for disabled people and had established an Independent Living group to do this. He needed someone to lobby on their behalf.

That was in 1995, at a time when Christian, a Communications graduate, knew he wanted to be a creative writer, but also needed money to live.

“I probably turned up to the interview in a shirt and tie and Martin was wearing a fishing hat and smoking a cigarette,” recalls Christian with laugh.

Martin introduced himself by telling Christian to “shake the thumb” and they got chatting,

“I didn’t even know what lobbying involved. But he must have seen something in me because he gave me the job. Within a week, I was introducing speakers at a conference on disability rights,” says Christian.

“I had no confidence but he saw a willingness to work and he had the potential to find out what talent people had.

“He would see a capacity in people to do something and challenge them to do it – and they always rose to it. He railed against the notion of disabled people as passive and the Centre for Independent Living was like the IRA of disability”.

For more, read this week’s Connacht Tribune.

Connacht Tribune Digital Edition App

Download the Connacht Tribune Digital Edition App to access to Galway’s best-selling newspaper.

Click HERE to download it for iPhone and iPad from Apple’s App Store, or HERE to get the Android Version from Google Play.

Or purchase the Digital Edition for PC, Mac or Laptop from Pagesuite  HERE.

Get the Connacht Tribune Live app
The Connacht Tribune Live app is the home of everything that is happening in Galway City and county. It’s completely FREE and features all the latest news, sport and information on what’s on in your area. Click HERE to download it for iPhone and iPad from Apple’s App Store, or HERE to get the Android Version from Google Play.

 

 

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