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Connacht Tribune

False-tan phenomenon offers nothing more than fake hues

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A Different View

When John Hinde decided to capture the essence of Irishness for his famous postcard, he never for a moment thought he’d spray the red haired, freckled little girl a colour somewhat darker than the accompanying donkey.
But the naturally alabaster, occasionally flushed, Irish woman now apparently feels naked unless she is sprayed from highlighted head to pedicured toenail in a shade you couldn’t accomplish if you actually spent three weeks baking under the Saharan sun.
To their credit, at least they don’t spend weeks on their dark tan, thus exposing themselves to a greater risk of skin cancer than if they walked into a nuclear holocaust.
But when did fair females decide that the Hughie Maughan makeover was the ‘look du jour’ for a big day out?
One of the delights of Modern Ireland is that we now have a nation with skin tones that take us a million miles from the traditional milky and scarlet.
But you don’t see people of African roots deciding to spray themselves in whitewash for their big day out.
So why do those of a paler complexion think that the secret to feeling happy is three coats of high gloss varnish?
A little air brushing just to smooth out the edges is entirely acceptable; indeed, it might be seen as rude not to – but a complete transformation to a point where you’re unrecognisable from the original is a different matter altogether.
And yet, even allowing for our searing summer, nobody could have believed that our fashionistas could have collectively gone so brilliantly brown to a degree that left you wondering if they had suffered a ‘reverse Michael Jackson’ before Ladies Day at the Races.
In fairness, it’s not just the ladies at it – hundreds of the more metrosexual had inexplicably gone a deep hue of Hughie overnight.
Not so long ago, they laughed at the Welsh rugby player Gavin Henson when he arrived onto the Millennium Stadium spray painted to within an inch of his life; these days they might be giggling at the one who was comfortable in his own skin.
In the interests of full disclosure, the only paint on my skin has been from a can via a brush that missed the spot on the wall.
Furthermore, I am to natural tanning what Cristiano Ronaldo is to modesty; I’m the guy on a sun holiday wearing a sun hat, tee-shirt and long shorts, sitting under a massive parasol under a tree in the shade of the apartment block.
But I did once get burnt on a lads’ holiday – not so much deliberately as it being down to drink – then I compounded the problem by mistaking some form of tanning top-up for after-sun.
To this day, I would argue that one of the others had set out to sabotage the sun denier – but the result was that, instead of reducing the peeling, it left me looking like a leper with bits of his face falling off on the return flight.
The only upside was that I somehow managed to get three seats to myself all the way back into Cork.
Even then, I gritted more than grinning and bearing it – but that was the last time my face was anything other than red and white.
Nowadays you hardly have to leave home to get that all-over tan – except it doesn’t actually look like a tan; it looks like what it is . . . you’ve been power-hosed brown in a booth.
Of course, the spray tan quickly faded every time you scrub yourself – but purveyors of the power-hose method will know that more than the memory lingers.
Your now-former brown self continues to live on through the sheets, the towels, the coloured rings that cling to the side of the bath like the residue of a giant, drained pint of Guinness.
But apparently, it’s worth it if only so you look like you’re back from three weeks in the Seychelles when it was really only twenty minutes in a beautician’s.

For more, read this week’s Connacht Tribune.

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Connacht Tribune

Boil water notice issued for Barna area

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A boil water notice has been issued for the Barna area for health protection purposes

The areas affected are Barna Village, Truskey West and Truskey East, Barr Aille, Fermoyle, Ballard and along the Connemara Coast Road as far as Furbo, and on the Barna/Galway Road as far as Silverstrand.

The notice has been put in place due to issues with disinfection of the water at Tonabruckey Reservoir.

The notice affects approximately 2,300 people supplied by the Barna section of the Galway City West Public Water Supply area.

Customers in the area served by Tonabrucky Reservoir will notice increased levels of chlorine in their water supply in the coming days as we work to resolve the issue.

Vulnerable customers who have registered with Irish Water will receive direct communication on this Boil Water Notice.

Irish water, the City Council and the HSE will monitor the supply and will lift the notice when it is safe to do so.

In line with HSE Covid-19 advice and the requirement for frequent hand washing, Irish Water advises that the water remains suitable for this purpose and boiling the water is not required.

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Connacht Tribune

Violent incident in Tuam leaves seven hospitalised

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Gardaí are investigating after an incident in Tuam yesterday left seven people injured.

A violent altercation broke out between a large group at the cemetery in Tuam at about 4pm yesterday.

Around 30 Gardaí responded to the incident at the cemetery on the Athenry Road in Tuam, which broke out following two funerals in the area.

Gardaí supported by members from the wider North Western Region and the Regional Armed Support Unit had to physically intervene between parties and disperse those present.

Five males and two females were injured during the course of the incident and were taken to University Hospital Galway with non-life threatening injuries.

A 16-year-old boy was arrested at the scene, as he tried to flee in possession of a knife.

He was taken to Tuam Garda Station and has since been released. A file is being prepared for the Juvenile Liaison Officer.

Gardaí are appealing for any witnesses to this incident or for anyone with any information to contact Tuam Garda Station .

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Connacht Tribune

Anger over ANC ‘snip’

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Agriculture Minister, Charlie McConalogue

ANGRY farmers hit out during last week’s Galway IFA at the Dept. of Agriculture over what they described as their ‘heavy handed tactics’ in docking BEAM penalties from ANC payments made last week.

Although Agriculture Minister, Charlie McConalogue, has apologised for the actions taken by his Department officials, delegates who attended last Thursday’s night county IFA meeting in the Claregalway Hotel, hit out at what happened.

In some cases, according to Galway IFA Chairperson, Anne Mitchell, farmers who had already paid back the BEAM penalty also had the money deducted from their ANC (Areas of Natural Constraint) payments made last week.

Many farmers received ‘a shock in the post’ when their ANC payments were hit with the deductions of penalties from the BEAM scheme – earlier they had been warned of interest penalties if any balances weren’t repaid within 30 days.

At the core of the problem was the inclusion of a 5% stock numbers reduction in the BEAM scheme (Beef Exceptional Aid Measure) aimed at helping to compensate farmers for a drop-off in beef prices between September, 2018 and May, 2019.

For more, read this week’s Connacht Tribune.

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