Double Vision with Charlie Adley
The evil spawn of the New Rude was born when we were forced to accept waiting on help lines. Not one of us escaped that moment when we first had to decide to give in; to relent; to realise we had no choice but to obey their corporate rules. There is no alternative: we have to relinquish any lingering feelings of self-respect, as we hold the phone to our ears, listening to an irritatingly smiley voice telling us in doublespeak that our call is important to the company, while simultaneously and emphatically showing us it is not.
If you ever need a definition of disingenuous, it is that slimy suggestion.
Were our custom in any way important to them, we’d not be hearing 37 minutes of a looped recording telling us that we can solve our problems on the web. If we could, we’d most certainly not be calling them.
And the music.
Oh the music.
Be it a trebly whiney Barry Manilow or a jazzed-up distorted Bolero screech, the music serves to wear down our resistance; deplete our will; whittle away at our self-esteem.
As part of the overwhelming response to this colyoom’s recent complaint about Eir, I was sent a clipping from the Sligo Champion, in which Ciara Galvin was reporting on mass walk-outs by employees at Eir’s call centre.
According to one of those workers, Eir had told their staff to “take as many calls as you can and don’t worry about the customer”.
We are the casualties of this war. We are not customers. We are enemies, to be cash-extracted in the way that least damages the corporate entity.
The New Rude stems from the way these companies make us feel less than worthy as humans.