Country Living with Francis Farragher

It’s a forlorn wish by now after a half-century of fruitless effort to try and stop losing all those simple things that help to see us through our days like keys, phones, glasses, remote controls, sun glasses, passports and wallets.  One of the few consolations I take from this little malaise is that in the end, I never really lose anything on a permanent basis . . . but I just can’t find things when I want them most.

There are those acquaintance of mine who might say that it’s connected to that grim (but still very welcome) birthday statistic that we’re reminded of once a year, with the receipt of ridiculous presents, cards and good wishes, but at least I have a very reliable alibi on that line of inquiry. Since my days in the short trousers, school bags, messages from the local shop, shoes, books, farming implements that I had handled and even bicycles, seemed to disappear into thin air after I had even the briefest of liaisons with them.

The affliction is of course exacerbated by what I would describe as multiple-option storage locations whether they be jackets, trousers, mechanically propelled vehicles of various ages and dimensions, outdoor sheds and even extra rooms that have been added on to my living space. The threats really do come from everywhere.

A few years back when listening to one of those really serious programmes that you tend to hear on Radio 1, there was a sense of tension between my ears when one of those mind gurus who knew everything about skull interiors, was asked about the reasons for the WAMK (Where Are My Keys) ailment. Sometimes, WAMK (careful with the spelling) contains an F (hint: insert before K). This condition is also known as DASASOK (Did Anyone See a Set of Keys).

For more, read this week’s Connacht Tribune.

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